Thanksgiving has always been one of my favorite holidays—not so much for its historical origins, but for the traditions that bring people together. There’s something so heartwarming about gathering with family, cooking, eating, and laughing together without the stress of gifts or other expectations. It’s a time for connection, food, and love.
But when you live abroad, missing Thanksgiving becomes a tough reality. It was the first major holiday I spent away from my family, and it hit me in ways I didn’t anticipate. You know, intellectually, that moving abroad will bring distance from loved ones, but there’s a unique kind of ache that comes from imagining your family gathered around a table, laughing and sharing a meal while you’re thousands of miles away.
So, how do you cope when the holidays roll around and you’re far from home? Here are a few ways that helped me navigate those moments and even create new traditions:
1. Play Virtual Games or Video Call Your Family
A simple video call can make a world of difference when you’re missing loved ones. I often just voice call my family and friends, but a video call adds a personal touch. You don’t realize how much you miss their faces until you see them! Set aside dedicated time to chat with family during or after their celebration. It doesn’t have to be long; even a 15-minute call can make you feel included and closer to home. Try eating together virtually to create the feeling of sharing a meal.
2. Celebrate Locally with Friends
Celebrate Thanksgiving in a new way by sharing it with your local friends. It’s a great opportunity to introduce them to your favorite holiday traditions and try something new together. You can keep the menu simple or focus on just a few iconic dishes like mashed potatoes, turkey (or a local substitute), and pumpkin pie.
3. Cook the Foods You Love
Even if you’re the only one making traditional Thanksgiving dishes, whip up your favorites. You don’t have to go all out—a smaller, simplified version of your usual feast can still bring comfort. Or try mixing traditional dishes with local flavors for a unique twist!
4. Share the Meaning of Thanksgiving
This one might seem cheesy, but most of my local friends just know Thanksgiving from what they see on TV. Explaining your traditions gives them insight into your culture and the way things are actually done. Share your favorite memories and the sense of gratitude that defines the holiday—you might even spark new ideas or discover similarities in their own cultural celebrations.
5. Make New Traditions
Missing old traditions is hard, but living abroad gives you the chance to create new ones. My sibling and I started a charcuterie board tradition during the holidays—now, we each make our boards in separate countries and share photos. Find something special to make your own.
Embrace the opportunity to build new traditions that fit your current life abroad. For example, my sibling and I always make charcuterie boards for the holidays. Even from different countries, we keep this tradition alive and share photos to feel connected. Use this time to experiment with something meaningful that you can carry forward.
6. Incorporate Local Traditions or Foods
Ask friends to contribute a dish or tradition from their culture to your celebration. Blending your Thanksgiving with local customs can make the day feel less isolating and more like a cultural exchange. Learning something new about the culture you’re in could be a great distraction and a unique way to celebrate Thanksgiving. Ask local friends or neighbors to contribute a favorite dish or show you how to prepare a local specialty. This not only enhances your celebration but also deepens your connection to the culture. It’s a chance to add something new to your traditions while enjoying the flavors of your host country.
7. Do Something Unique to Your Country
Take a moment to appreciate where you are by doing something that’s special to your current location. Remind yourself of the unique experiences you can only have while living abroad. For me, the highest mountain in Southern Africa is just a 20-minute drive away—I could climb it and make it a truly memorable Thanksgiving! Whether it’s visiting a landmark, trying a local activity, or exploring a cultural tradition, create a holiday memory that’s one-of-a-kind.
8. Give Yourself Grace
This one is crucial. Missing holidays is hard, and it’s okay to feel sad about it. My therapist always says this to me, and I think it’s great advice—especially when you’re missing a major holiday. Taking care of your mental health during the holidays is crucial, so don’t hesitate to give yourself grace. If you’re feeling the weight of missing home, remember you’re not alone in these emotions.
For more guidance, check out this podcast episode on mental health during the holidays and this blog about coping with holiday stress. They offer helpful tips on staying balanced and finding joy in the season, even when things feel different.
Living abroad is full of trade-offs. You get to experience new cultures, adventures, and perspectives, but you also miss out on special moments back home. Thanksgiving—and every holiday—will feel different, but it’s an opportunity to create something new.
Be gentle with yourself during this time. Do what you can to feel connected to your family and embrace the unique opportunities your new home offers. Remember, it’s okay to feel torn between the life you’ve built abroad and the one you left behind. Thanksgiving, like life, is what you make it.